I went running with a friend today....a person who I haven't known very long. She started to share with me that she was in a "slump". I didn't really do anything but listen openly and not judge. I assured her that everyone gets in a "slump" from time to time. I listened and acknowledged that she felt sad. I encouraged her to take care of herself. Is this a failure at a kind act? Somehow it feels inadequate.
I learned that this type of behavior should not be thought of as "above and beyond" but it should be given freely to our fellow humans at all times. I learned that beyond giving support to our fellow person we sould be doing more every single day. Today was not good enough.....I will do better...
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Day 16 Detestable
Do you detest anyone? I wish I could say I loved everyone and nobody irritated me. That would be a total lie. I am working on the whole forgive and forget scenario...making some progress but not home free. There are a couple of people that I hate to admit...I don't care for...don't really want to hear about or hear from. I am pretty sure these people feel the exact same way about me.
The problem with this perspective is I clearly am giving them too much energy. I decided to test the hypothesis "kill them with kindness". Okay so I didn't really "kill" them with kindness but I did reach out and sent a text to one of them that said "I hope you have a happy new year". Guess What? The person text back "ditto". Okay this might seem small but it made me feel less irritated and put off by the person. Just that one small interaction.
I learned that you don't have to have a whole huge scene that includes forgiveness and forgetting..speeches..tears and anger...maybe just reaching out for a second and finding neutral ground with a few words can help make someone, for me, seem not so grotesque.
The problem with this perspective is I clearly am giving them too much energy. I decided to test the hypothesis "kill them with kindness". Okay so I didn't really "kill" them with kindness but I did reach out and sent a text to one of them that said "I hope you have a happy new year". Guess What? The person text back "ditto". Okay this might seem small but it made me feel less irritated and put off by the person. Just that one small interaction.
I learned that you don't have to have a whole huge scene that includes forgiveness and forgetting..speeches..tears and anger...maybe just reaching out for a second and finding neutral ground with a few words can help make someone, for me, seem not so grotesque.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Day 15 Kindness and Vomit
Sweet Sweet Jesus! What I did today was about the kindness and most disgusting thing I think I have done. I went to the bathroom in Target because I had to....well somethings can be left to the imagination.
When I entered the bathroom and entered the stall I was frozen by what someone had left for me there....WHY WHY WHY don't people flush the toilet? Can anyone answer this question? I went out of the stall into another...three doors down (it was so horrific I didn't even want to sit next door).
When I finished my business I washed my hands and went to leave. I walk passed the horrific toilet bowl scene and started to leave....I stopped at door and said to myself "nobody lord should have to witness what I just witnessed". I turned around and entered the stall and stared it right in the face and flushed (with my boot)...it was so bad I had to flush twice (with my boot) and as God is my witness I threw up a little bit in my mouth!
I learned that sometimes for the good of others you can throw up in your mouth...nobody should have to see what I saw in that ceramic bowl...
When I entered the bathroom and entered the stall I was frozen by what someone had left for me there....WHY WHY WHY don't people flush the toilet? Can anyone answer this question? I went out of the stall into another...three doors down (it was so horrific I didn't even want to sit next door).
When I finished my business I washed my hands and went to leave. I walk passed the horrific toilet bowl scene and started to leave....I stopped at door and said to myself "nobody lord should have to witness what I just witnessed". I turned around and entered the stall and stared it right in the face and flushed (with my boot)...it was so bad I had to flush twice (with my boot) and as God is my witness I threw up a little bit in my mouth!
I learned that sometimes for the good of others you can throw up in your mouth...nobody should have to see what I saw in that ceramic bowl...
Day 14 The Thought That Counts
Okay so what to do today...I am trying to think outside the box. What would I want? I can think of a lot of things...some may be inappropriate to discuss right now...
How about making dinner for a neighbor? I whipped up a batch of noodles Alfredo and cheesy garlic bread....YUMMY!!
I called for the neighbor's daughter to pick up the meal..she came down and instead decided to spend the night....I thought she had taken the dinner back down when she went to pick up her stuff.....on the contrary...(do I get a double kind act for the sleepover?)
Late in the evening I found my pot of noodles and bread on the side counter..too late to deliver and the for food poisoning to great...
I learned to double check to see if teenagers remember to follow through...hey I don't blame her...I am pre-menopausal..I get memory loss. I also learned that it really isn't the thought that counts..it is actually the doing!
How about making dinner for a neighbor? I whipped up a batch of noodles Alfredo and cheesy garlic bread....YUMMY!!
I called for the neighbor's daughter to pick up the meal..she came down and instead decided to spend the night....I thought she had taken the dinner back down when she went to pick up her stuff.....on the contrary...(do I get a double kind act for the sleepover?)
Late in the evening I found my pot of noodles and bread on the side counter..too late to deliver and the for food poisoning to great...
I learned to double check to see if teenagers remember to follow through...hey I don't blame her...I am pre-menopausal..I get memory loss. I also learned that it really isn't the thought that counts..it is actually the doing!
Monday, December 28, 2009
Day 13 Being 13 Sucks
Being 13-years-old SUCKS! Do you know how I know this fact? I live with a 13-year-old. Maybe I should restate my first sentence...let me try again.
Being the mother of a 13-year-old girl sucks. Alright, alright....it isn't that bad. I love her to pieces and I am lucky to have such a loving daughter that is kind, sweet and gentle (to everyone else but me right now....I hear that changes as they grow up).
Today we were set to go to the movies as a family. One second away from leaving, my daughter says "I am not going". I say what all good parents say "oh yes you are"....we go back and forth. Finally I ask her why (probably should have started here) she doesn't want to go?
She tells me that her best friend, who is also our neighbor, has had a fight with her parents (WOW I get that) and needs to talk with her. Can you say DRAMA?
Just about when she told me about her friend.....the door bell rang....and her friend was on our front porch. Instead of telling her to go home, I invited her to go to the movies with us...all expenses paid. Look this might not seem kind to you but you try being with two hormonal teen girls for the afternoon...neither of them happy with their parents.
I scooped up both girls (with parental permission) and my boy and we headed to see The Princess and The Frog. I showered them all, especially the sad neighbor girl, with whoopers, skittles and popcorn. All was made right in the world of the teenage girls...for the moment until the next drama erupts......
I learned that even though something might be inconveinent, and slightly more costly, a small act such as taking someone to the movies can change the course of an evening, a mood, and a situation.
On a side note:
During the movie the princess said to the frog "you get back what you give". I wonder if it is true?
Being the mother of a 13-year-old girl sucks. Alright, alright....it isn't that bad. I love her to pieces and I am lucky to have such a loving daughter that is kind, sweet and gentle (to everyone else but me right now....I hear that changes as they grow up).
Today we were set to go to the movies as a family. One second away from leaving, my daughter says "I am not going". I say what all good parents say "oh yes you are"....we go back and forth. Finally I ask her why (probably should have started here) she doesn't want to go?
She tells me that her best friend, who is also our neighbor, has had a fight with her parents (WOW I get that) and needs to talk with her. Can you say DRAMA?
Just about when she told me about her friend.....the door bell rang....and her friend was on our front porch. Instead of telling her to go home, I invited her to go to the movies with us...all expenses paid. Look this might not seem kind to you but you try being with two hormonal teen girls for the afternoon...neither of them happy with their parents.
I scooped up both girls (with parental permission) and my boy and we headed to see The Princess and The Frog. I showered them all, especially the sad neighbor girl, with whoopers, skittles and popcorn. All was made right in the world of the teenage girls...for the moment until the next drama erupts......
I learned that even though something might be inconveinent, and slightly more costly, a small act such as taking someone to the movies can change the course of an evening, a mood, and a situation.
On a side note:
During the movie the princess said to the frog "you get back what you give". I wonder if it is true?
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Day 12 Garbage Garbage Everywhere, Where it Stops...Nobody Cares
When is the last time you stopped to look around at the amount of garbage you live around? I did that today and could not believe how much trash surrounds me. Today I grabbed a trash bag and my eight-year-old son and I embarked on a neighborhood trash collection adventure. I can say that I have never in my life intentionally gone out to collect street garbage unless it was on a "clean-up" day. Clearly we need more of those scheduled based on the amount of rubbish (love that word) my son and I collected from our streets today.
We embarked on this adventure and made it only fifty feet from our house when we discovered our trash bag was half full.
I walk up and down my neighborhood streets every single day and I have NEVER EVER noticed that much garbage. When I started looking for it....it was there.
Are there other things I haven't noticed? How many things do I choose to ignore or look past? How many things do I walk past, notice, but then say to myself "it's inconvenient to deal with this" "someone else will handle this".
I think there are many times in my life where I have decided to look past the garbage and not take the time to bend down and deal with the issue. Many times where I have seen it but ignored it. Many times I have wished it would blow away or someone else would pick it up (clearly I am not talking literally about garbage at this point).
Today was the day I forced myself to look down and observe my surroundings as I took each step. I really looked to see where I was going. I looked to see the road in front of me.
I learned I dont want to ignore the garbage anymore. I will deal with it as it lays on the road ahead of me. I figured out that along with ignoring the garbage I might also be ignoring or looking past other really special things. I am done with that now and my eyes are wide open to both the rubbish and the beauty on my path ahead.
On a side note:
My son has eagle eyes if you need to borrow him to help pick trash up in your neighborhood.
We embarked on this adventure and made it only fifty feet from our house when we discovered our trash bag was half full.
I walk up and down my neighborhood streets every single day and I have NEVER EVER noticed that much garbage. When I started looking for it....it was there.
Are there other things I haven't noticed? How many things do I choose to ignore or look past? How many things do I walk past, notice, but then say to myself "it's inconvenient to deal with this" "someone else will handle this".
I think there are many times in my life where I have decided to look past the garbage and not take the time to bend down and deal with the issue. Many times where I have seen it but ignored it. Many times I have wished it would blow away or someone else would pick it up (clearly I am not talking literally about garbage at this point).
Today was the day I forced myself to look down and observe my surroundings as I took each step. I really looked to see where I was going. I looked to see the road in front of me.
I learned I dont want to ignore the garbage anymore. I will deal with it as it lays on the road ahead of me. I figured out that along with ignoring the garbage I might also be ignoring or looking past other really special things. I am done with that now and my eyes are wide open to both the rubbish and the beauty on my path ahead.
On a side note:
My son has eagle eyes if you need to borrow him to help pick trash up in your neighborhood.
Day 11 Life or Death, The Perspective of a 10 year old..
Okay..come on...I know you might think this is a lame one but it made me feel really happy and isn't that what it is about... how I can be changed and look at things differently based on kind acts toward others?
I was at the rollerskating rink today. I love rollerskating! I have ever since I was in 7th grade and skated my first couples skate with a cute boy!
I was busy getting my groove on..enjoying the disco ball and loud Queen song playing in the background. When I went around for the 100th lap or so..I noticed a little boy about 10-years-old looking very distraught at the air hockey table. I skated up and he looked at me bewildered. He said "I paid for the air hockey game but my friend doesn't see me...will you save my game while I go get my friend"? I said "I will guard your game with my life". He skated away at lightening speed. As he and his friend returned I skated away; It was of utmost importance that I be able to catch the end of the disco ball and Queen song. He yelled after me... "Thank-You, Thank-You".
What I learned is not to underestimate what children find important and what worries them. Take a few minutes to listen to them and understand the importance of a possible lost 50cents and a lost opportunity for air hockey.
I was at the rollerskating rink today. I love rollerskating! I have ever since I was in 7th grade and skated my first couples skate with a cute boy!
I was busy getting my groove on..enjoying the disco ball and loud Queen song playing in the background. When I went around for the 100th lap or so..I noticed a little boy about 10-years-old looking very distraught at the air hockey table. I skated up and he looked at me bewildered. He said "I paid for the air hockey game but my friend doesn't see me...will you save my game while I go get my friend"? I said "I will guard your game with my life". He skated away at lightening speed. As he and his friend returned I skated away; It was of utmost importance that I be able to catch the end of the disco ball and Queen song. He yelled after me... "Thank-You, Thank-You".
What I learned is not to underestimate what children find important and what worries them. Take a few minutes to listen to them and understand the importance of a possible lost 50cents and a lost opportunity for air hockey.
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